“Equally, there are some sexual acts where the gender of the other person matters to my erotic imagination … ‘I want a big strong man to tie me up,’ for example. “There are some aspects of my sexuality where the gender, gender identity, or gender presentation of the other person forms a specific part of my attraction to them,” Zoe says. As Zoe explains, the word 'pansexual' denotes that someone's gender is not a factor in her attraction to them, when in fact, sometimes, it is-which is where 'polysexual' comes in handy. Pansexual and polysexual may sound similar, but there's a key difference. But she also identifies as polysexual, or attracted to multiple genders. Realizing she was attracted to a number of genders, Zoe-who had previously identified as lesbian-came to identify as queer and pansexual, or attracted to people regardless of their gender. Five years ago, they opened up their relationship, and Zoe also dated and slept with cis men, genderqueer people, and trans people.
Zoe, a 45-year-old woman in the U.K., has been with her wife for 22 years.
